“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church…” Ephesians 5:25-29

Husband, does your wife feel like the bride of Frankenstein? If so, for Pete’s sake, read on. Wife, please don’t print this article out and leave it on the counter for your husband to “find.” Just pray for him and leave him in God’s hands. Ephesians 5 is powerful.

After my wedding, I thought I’d become the captain of my little ship. It was my responsibility to be in charge and steer us to a life of victory on the high seas of life. What a dufus! At a men’s conference three month’s into marriage, I learned that Jesus showed us how to lead. Great, I thought. There’s never been a ship captain like Jesus.

I quickly realized Jesus came to serve. He loved us so much that He gave His life for us. The way to “steer” is to humble myself, wash dishes, fold laundry, and encourage my wife when I feel like she should be encouraging me. That ship I thought I should lead—now I know only God can navigate our course. I’m now a very happy first mate.

You might think, “But if I start washing, waxing, and waiting on her, she’ll take advantage of me and I’ll be destined to a life of marital slavery.” It couldn’t be farther from the truth. Your wife will actually respond to your efforts and appreciate you like never before. She’ll stop feeling like the Bride of Frankenstein and begin to feel more like the Bride of Frank, or whatever your name is. Love is not a feeling. It’s a verb. It’s something you commit to doing.

Being a U2 fan, I couldn’t resist naming this article after “Pride in the Name of Love.” But pride and love don’t belong in the same sentence. If you want the ship to sail smoothly, resort to the compass Christ has given. Husbands love your wives and wives, love your husbands. This is what we are commanded to do.

Scott Chaney is the author of the book “Christian Warriors.” He and his wife Janet have three children and make their home in Franklin, TN. Read Scott’s devotions