Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. Selah Psalm 62:8b
My heart cracked–a literal physical ache from the amount of internal pain! Tears cascaded down my cheeks as I sobbed with my head in my hands. I needed to have it out with God! I dropped to my knees on a bed of fresh pine needles I’d found along my favorite wooded trail. My inward groaning erupted in a scream–”God where are you?”
Psalms says to “Pour out your heart before Him,” meaning to pour out like milk from a glass pitcher; spill it out, pour forth. It was not only an exercise of casting all my fears (and anguish) before God, but an exercise of faith. How would God answer the many questions I had? I needed to tip out of my heart all the anger, doubt, sadness, tears, and questions.
It had been less than three years since I’d lost my father unexpectedly to a heart attack, but to lose my 40-year-old younger brother the same way was too much for me to process. Both men appeared in good health–neither experienced any warning signs. Both were loved by the family and enjoyed the same love of working outside. They took their last breath in their homes a mile from each other. Both carried the same name to their graves. What kind of a mean joke was God playing on my family? I realized it was foolish to try and hide anything from an all-knowing maker and creator, so I “poured out” my thoughts into words. There is freedom and great release in being brutally honest with God.
Trust in Him at all times, O people… for God is our refuge. How can I believe one line of a verse and scrub the rest? I knew after I poured my heart out, I needed to let go and trust Him in faith. This time, as the verse says, “at all times” included death.
How about you? Have you poured your heart out lately? Will you trust Him in times of trouble, doubt, or grief? Will you let Him be your refuge? Pour your heart into the hands that never let anything slip through.
Darlene Lund is a Life Purpose Coach® for women and holds all five levels of certification under Life Purpose Coaching Centers International® (LPCCI®). She was trained to be a LPCCI® Life-time Instructor of Coaches and is a Grief Facilitator. She facilitates two-day intense life plans, and also one-day grief facilitations. Darlene targets the heart of women in her speaking, coaching, writing, and creation of curriculum. Darlene is married to Phil and has three teenagers. She is a lifelong learner and enjoys reading and walking! Contact Darlene@Heartswithapurpose.com or visit her website www.Heartswithapurpose.com