Fitful Dreams
As the sun was setting, Abram fell into a deep sleep, and a thick and dreadful darkness came over him. Genesis 15:12 (NIV)
Listen to Fitful Dreams – He Said
There is a sickness that settles in the pit of my stomach when I sense the absence of God’s presence. My ears ring, skin becomes cool and moist. Nausea overwhelms me. The symptoms are similar to motion sickness and perhaps that’s what it is—an unholy motion of me moving into a thick and dreadful darkness without Him.
I can recall with vivid clarity the terror I felt sitting in the Atlanta airport with no ticket, no cash, and no way home. My only comfort came through the promises of God, so I opened my Bible and highlighted words, claiming His pledge of provision. I remember the dread I felt stepping into darkness in Granada, Nicaragua. Alone and unable to speak the language, I repeated His assurance of protection.
The Psalmist writes: “The Lord God is a sun and a safe-covering. He holds nothing good from those who walk in the way that is right…They who look for the Lord will not be without any good thing…The angel of the Lord stays close around those who fear him, and he takes them out of trouble… Because you have made the Lord your safe place, and the Most High the place where you live, nothing will hurt you. No trouble will come near your tent.”
Powerful promises. And yet Abram fell into a nightmare full of darkness and dread. He’d walked with God into a strange land and found a famine. He’d believed God’s promise of a son but his wife remained barren. He’d pitched his tent in the shadow of God’s mountain but evil, death, and war raged around him. Promises from God—problems from man.
In desperation Abram asked, “O Sovereign Lord how can I know…?” Isn’t that the question we ask? How can I know? How can I be certain there is a God? And if there is, how can I be certain he loves me?
In the depths of Abram’s nightmare, God appeared to him as a blazing torch and a smoking firepot. Hardly comforting images. But in response to our questions of His love and sovereignty, God exchanged His son for us and the swap was executed in a brutal manner. The writer of Hebrews reminds us: “It is a dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.” Terrifying indeed.
That night in the Atlanta airport, God provided me with a faster and cheaper flight home. That night in Granada, He provided me with safe and affordable shelter.
Do you sense a dreadful darkness sweeping over you? Perhaps the gloom you feel is the shadow of the Most High leaning over you as He prepares to scoop you up in His arms.