Fitful Dreams – He Said
Fitful Dreams
As the sun was setting, Abram fell into a deep sleep, and a thick and dreadful darkness came over him. Genesis 15:12 (NIV)
Listen to Fitful Dreams – He Said
There is a sickness that settles in the pit of my stomach when I sense the absence of God’s presence. My ears ring, skin becomes cool and moist. Nausea overwhelms me. The symptoms are similar to motion sickness and perhaps that’s what it is—an unholy motion of me moving into a thick and dreadful darkness without Him.
I can recall with vivid clarity the terror I felt sitting in the Atlanta airport with no ticket, no cash, and no way home. My only comfort came through the promises of God, so I opened my Bible and highlighted words, claiming His pledge of provision. I remember the dread I felt stepping into darkness in Granada, Nicaragua. Alone and unable to speak the language, I repeated His assurance of protection.
The Psalmist writes: “The Lord God is a sun and a safe-covering. He holds nothing good from those who walk in the way that is right…They who look for the Lord will not be without any good thing…The angel of the Lord stays close around those who fear him, and he takes them out of trouble… Because you have made the Lord your safe place, and the Most High the place where you live, nothing will hurt you. No trouble will come near your tent.”
Powerful promises. And yet Abram fell into a nightmare full of darkness and dread. He’d walked with God into a strange land and found a famine. He’d believed God’s promise of a son but his wife remained barren. He’d pitched his tent in the shadow of God’s mountain but evil, death, and war raged around him. Promises from God—problems from man.
In desperation Abram asked, “O Sovereign Lord how can I know…?” Isn’t that the question we ask? How can I know? How can I be certain there is a God? And if there is, how can I be certain he loves me?
In the depths of Abram’s nightmare, God appeared to him as a blazing torch and a smoking firepot. Hardly comforting images. But in response to our questions of His love and sovereignty, God exchanged His son for us and the swap was executed in a brutal manner. The writer of Hebrews reminds us: “It is a dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.” Terrifying indeed.
That night in the Atlanta airport, God provided me with a faster and cheaper flight home. That night in Granada, He provided me with safe and affordable shelter.
Do you sense a dreadful darkness sweeping over you? Perhaps the gloom you feel is the shadow of the Most High leaning over you as He prepares to scoop you up in His arms.
Cold, Hard and Dark – She Said
Cold, Hard and Dark
As the sun was setting, Abram fell into a deep sleep, and a thick and dreadful darkness came over him. Genesis 15:12 (NIV)
Listen to Cold, Hard and Dark – She Said
The swinging door creaked open and the ultrasound technician poked her head through. “You need to come. Now!” My heart sank. Something was seriously wrong.
The doctor dropped his pen into his coat and sighed. “It’s a blood clot stemming from his calf into his abdomen. His blood pressure is extremely high because the heart can’t pump the blood efficiently around the clot and…” he pointed to a spot on the ultrasound. “This is a clot ready to break free. If that happens, he’ll have a stroke.”
My soft, gentle husband sat on the cusp of death and he didn’t know the severity. I knew and I was horrified. Outside his hospital room the doctor spoon-fed me the words you hear on television, “If he pulls through the next 24 hours…”
My stomach twisted as the reality of my husband’s immortality rushed forward. Tim could die and the one thing I feared the most…life without him, stared me in the face. God please don’t let him die. I watched every rise of his chest as he slept. Darkness fell over me and I was completely consumed.
God knew Abram’s fear and it wasn’t the battles around him or the famine and hardship he faced. His problems lay in the darkness when Abram dreamed. Fear and doubt fell over him in the blackness of night. But God promised Abram, I am your reward and so he hung on.
I’ve fought fear, sadness, insecurity and loneliness—felt the heaviness as the darkness of night fell over me. Nights dragged into days and my eyes never closed nor did the rest come. I dreaded nightfall.
Still, through it all, when I squinted hard, I could see a pinhole of light. Hope. Enough to grasp hold of and pull toward. A pinhole that grew larger the closer I came; warmer, comforting. And when I stretched out my hand the fingers of God tightened around my wrist. The harder I held the stronger the grip of God grew. And then, daybreak came.
Darkness constantly ensues us. Satan shoves the black coldness at us, hoping to block the glimmer of the Father’s light—working to force us away from the promises of a God who is faithful. He pushes at us relentlessly, but this is how Satan attacks…in a dreadful and continual darkness.
God answered my prayers for my husband. We held to His promise to protect us, provide for us. He gave us peace. With Him as our shepherd, we did not want.
When darkness beats you down, when you feel as though things are cold, hard and dark; don’t be afraid. Reach for the promises of the reward that God brings to us when we are fully in Him.
Eddie Jones and Cindy Sproles are friends and cofounders of ChristianDevotions.us. They cowrite the popular He Said, She Said devotions and host Blog Talk Radio’s Christian Devotions Speak UP! along with Scott McCausey.
And now you can catch them each Friday evening at 7 p.m. on He Said, She Said Radio . (Call in number, 646-929-0706 ). They travel with Christian Devotions Ministries teaching the art of writing devotions at writers conferences across the country. Eddie and Cindy are featured in Faith & FINANCES: In God We Trust – A Journey to Financial Dependence. 