With Friends Like These...

With Friends Like These… – He Said

Singing cheerful songs to a person with a heavy heart is like taking someone’s coat in cold weather or pouring vinegar in a wound. Proverbs 25:20

Some years ago my father-in-law, Lindsay, received this letter from his friend, Oscar Grant. With friends like these, sometimes it’s better to have no friends at all.

Dear Lindsay;

Thank you for your recent email. I had no idea you really wanted to buy your own boat. Especially in this economy. But when I found out, I charged ahead and bought you the perfect yacht. Picture enclosed. As you can see, she’s a classic. Or was. Knowing how you hate to pass up a good deal, I drafted your checking account the $90,000 asking price.

I originally thought that sounded a little high for a 27-foot boat, but the Cuban salesman assured me it was not. The fact they don’t make this model any more concerned me at first. I thought maybe the design had fallen out of favor. But Pedro explained it had something to do with lawsuits and actuaries. Anyway, when I heard that, I began to feel better.

Now, knowing how you like to have things done right, you’ll be interested in the information I gathered regarding the engine.

First, you’ll be pleased to know we were able to knock the rust off the engine block and find the serial number. We traced it back and learned it WAS NOT originally a gasoline engine. I must say I was surprised because it sure smelled, looked, and leaked like an Atomic Four bomb. Pedro said the engine could probably be converted back to charcoal, if you like, making it good as new.

Now about the boat itself. Who would have thought for that price it would have a big hole in it? Sure caught me by surprise, I’ll tell you that. I didn’t even notice it until we did the sea trial. And good old Pedro, he wasn’t there when we launched your new boat, so he missed all the excitement. The rest of us barely escaped before she sank. Everyone kept saying, “Boy, won’t Lindsay be surprised.”

By the way, Pedro must be sick or something. I haven’t seen him since I gave him the recovery fee.

Oh, here’s some more good news. I ran into an engineer from the Ukrain who said he could refit your boat for $22,500. He said he used to work for the Russian navy before he retired to the States.  His last retrofit was that submarine, the Kursk. That’s the one that blew up and sank. But, Uri, that’s his name, said he stands behind his work. “Way behind,” were the words he used.

I drafted your account for half because I knew, based on the sparse amenities on your yacht before it sank, that you’d want any improvements done before you saw it. I’m sure Uri is down there right now looking for the boat because I haven’t seen him since.

One final thing.

Pedro threw in a 5-gallon bucket of something called boat rot, which he said, would come in handy. I thought it tasted a little like Dutch beer but a guy down at the ship’s store said it was to make wood much stronger and that all wooden boats, especially one as old as yours, keep buckets of this stuff aboard.

P.S. There is an alternative to raising your boat if we can ever find it. There is a gal down here who would give your entire family scuba lessons for just $7,500. If you did, then your whole family could just enjoy your new boat right where it is. Of course, you wouldn’t be seen by as many of your friends, so it’s a close call. I wanted to keep your options open, so I drafted another $3000 from your account to reserve the slots in this gal’s scuba class.

If I can be of any further help, call Pedro, the bartender, (a different Pedro) at the Jolly Jackal Bar and Grill in Coconut Grove. And don’t worry about calling collect. I went ahead and drafted a couple hundred dollars from your account to cover the phone calls. You can thank me later.

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The writer of Proverbs reminds us cheerful singing is the worst thing you can do when your friend is in the dumps. In such times, it’s best to get your buddy a gift – like an old boat – to take his mind off his troubles. If that doesn’t work remind him life is for the taking, love is for making, and it all ends to soon. Storms pass; friends too. Enjoy both.

__________________

I'm here for you.

The Solution…No Solution – She Said

Singing cheerful songs to a person with a heavy heart is like taking someone’s coat in cold weather or pouring vinegar in a wound. Proverbs 25:20

I couldn’t think of one comforting thing. All I could do was cry with her.

“The doctor says I’ll die without the surgery and if I have the surgery I’ll probably die anyway.” The receiver slid from my fingers. What do you say when a dear friend offers you a dismal situation? I heard her sniff. “I’ve got to decide the best way to die.”

There was nothing I could think of…not a word I could find that would offer her a hint of comfort. I swallowed hard and said, “I’ve got nothing, sweetie. All I can say is I am here. I’ll support you as best I can.”

For the next half hour we talked about her decisions, her spiritual pace, and her quality of life. It wasn’t an easy conversation. The anguish in her voice broke my heart. At that moment, I was helpless.

When Solomon prayed for wisdom, God answered with a gift that was both a blessing and a curse. Solomon was able to offer practical solutions that sometimes rubbed the recipient the wrong way. He understood the instinct to encourage when things look bad. He also knew well meaning words sometimes offer false hope and additional pain.

There are times we simply need to mourn a situation. There’s nothing we can say to fix it so we stand firm as support and cry along with the situation. There’s a difference in a continual pity party and a time to share sadness. While learning that discernment can be tricky, it’s a valuable asset. Solomon offered the perfect solution…no solution, just be supportive.

The night before her surgery, Tim and I visited our friend in the hospital. We offered her our support and our promise to be there when she woke up, then we prayed for God’s will. That’s all we could do. As it stood, God heard our prayers and our friend pulled through the surgery. Though her health issues are still dismal, for this moment in time, God has granted her reprieve.

My instinct is to be an encourager and I wanted to tell my friend everything would be fine. But I couldn’t. Instead, I cried with her, mourned the moment while holding her hand.

When you’re faced with a dismal situation, seek discernment. Trust in the knowledge that sometimes it’s okay to simply cry.

Eddie Jones and Cindy Sproles are friends and cofounders of ChristianDevotions.us. They cowrite the popular He Said, She Said devotions and host Blog Talk Radio’s Christian Devotions SPEAK UP! along with Scott McCausey. Eddie and Cindy travel and speak at conferences across the country and they are available to speak at your church or conference. Contact them at cindy@christiandevotions.us.

Do you sense something vital missing from you relationship with your spouse, children, and God? Try He Said, She Said: A Devotional Guide to Cultivating a Life of Passion. This compilation of 54 devotions includes scripture verses, space for journaling, individual prayers and words of wisdom from two of today’s funniest and insightful Christian authors. This heart-warming collection of stories will inspire you to reach for the true source of joy: a life lived for and through God. These deeply personal devotions offer biblical insights and spiritual truths from the perspective of one man and one woman.