He should have been there.
A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. Psalm 68:5
I had it all planned out perfectly. It was my seventh birthday and I wore my favorite blue dress to school that day. I fixed my hair and even saved half my lunch for him in case he was hungry from the long trip. I sat at the table closest to the door, just to make sure he would not get me confused with the other kids.
I imagined them calling my name over the loud speaker: “Janet Morris, please report to the office. You have a very special visitor.”
And then it would all happen in slow motion, like the perfect ending to the best movie ever made. People would line up and applaud when I ran into his arms.
And finally, they would know he was real.
I watched. And waited. But my daddy never showed up.
May 7, 1974. I only asked God for us to spend one day together, and this was supposed to be it. Instead, I learned the meaning of the word forever, and I absolutely hated it, almost as much as I hated the death of my father.
Later that night, this heartbreak led me straight to the flat part of the rooftop beneath my bedroom window. Into the night sky, I questioned God, yelling accusations at Him, unable to direct any anger toward my daddy.
God owed me, and we both knew it.
God is father to the fatherless.
Psalm 68 was familiar to me, and that night, I heard it again, loud and clear. Through the wind whipping my curls, from the stars that Daddy tiptoed across each night, and from God, who rested on the moon while He listened, I wiped away my tears.
Father to the fatherless.
I had His promise. I was no longer alone, and truthfully, never had been. My birthday disappointment turned into my greatest triumph as I laid out what I needed most in a father. God provided in the most personal of ways.
If you yearn to have a relationship with your Heavenly Father, God can do the same for you. Tell Him what you need and hand over your greatest disappointments. God can handle them, and He longs to meet you in the midst of your pain.
Janet is the author of the book, The Parent’s Guide to Uncluttering Your Home, released in May of 2011. She currently writes on such topics as faith, family, writing, teen issues, and of course, the process of uncluttering. Janet launched Abbandoned Ministries late in 2010, which leads others through speaking and writing to seek God as Abba during times of abandonment. For additional information, visit her websites at http://www.abbandoned.com or http://janetmorrisgrimes.com.
