Don’t be afraid; just believe… Mark 5:36, NIV
If words could devastate, then the words the doctor gave me concerning my unborn child were the worst. There wasn’t going to be a child in seven months. It had died in-utero, and that was the end of it.
Death is kind of like someone pulling a bag over your head. Suddenly, I couldn’t hear, I couldn’t see, and my concentration disappeared. My thoughts were solely upon my circumstances. I had prepared for months for that child — mentally and physically adjusted everything around me. Life would change big time when that baby arrived. It was what we wanted and planned for… it was all part of the joy.
That bag was on my head for a week.
This news slipped us a fast one — that we wouldn’t hold this child in our arms…that this child didn’t fit into my life. How could I pick up where I left off? I couldn’t. That part had left, never to return. And when the days passed and I finally figured out how to move on, I believe God cared and actually had his hand on my life when the fear crept in, taking the place of shame, grief, and loss.
When Jesus was about to raise a little girl from the dead, He told Jairus, her father, not to be afraid but to believe. It was as simple as that. Everyone relates to death because it is a part of our life. Friends or family, someone we hold dear, born or unborn, will eventually die. What we don’t expect is early death. The surprise of it creates fear and sadness. Jairus despaired because he had lost hope. Here he had Jesus, the Son of God, right in front of Him and Jairus still feared; it paralyzed him.
Jairus had a bag over his head too.
This is why Jesus calmly laid a hand on his shoulder and told him to relax, not to fear, and just believe that He had everything under control.
This fear, even though Jesus decided not to resurrect my little one, is what I felt. What if I couldn’t get pregnant again? What if I lost that one too? Satan worked his way into my helplessness because he saw the weakness; he saw the propensity for me to go there; feeling like God didn’t care enough to save that child. But that isn’t like God. God’s timing is perfect and He is full of love. That’s what Jesus’ words reminded me of too.
So I trusted and believed. And today, my second son is a reminder that God is faithful to us all, especially when we believe Him.
When fear overwhelms you…believe.
Heather Spiva is a freelance writer who lives in Sacramento, CA with her children and firefighter husband. When she isn’t writing, she is reading and when she’s not reading, she’s enjoying (or trying to, anyway) the crazy and joyous atmosphere with her two rambunctious boys. Read Heather’s devotions.
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