His Spirit Living in Us

Over lunch, she confided in me about her struggle with taking prescribed medication to correct a chemical imbalance she had been diagnosed with. I listened with an empathetic ear until she said she anticipated the departure of her depression, like having to say goodbye to an old friend. “An old friend!” I gasped incredulously. The uncomfortable silence that followed made me regret my instant rush to judgment.

Days later, while reading the gospel of John, I found the only instance in the gospels where Jesus asks someone if they want to get well. The paralytic answers Jesus’ question by focusing not on the hope before him but on the obstacles he faced. The crippled man had lain beside the pool for thirty-eight years, possibly nursing resentment, frustration, and sorrow. Maybe he gave up all hope and desire to help himself until all these things bloomed into a safe and familiar pain. This chapter illustrates our tendency to withdraw into the predictability of suffering rather than risk leaping into healing pools, which may hold a price.

The Holy Spirit began to show me my own resistance to healing. I was responsible for hiding behind the “comparison barrier” I had built before the Lord. I thwarted the Lord’s healing and my usefulness for the kingdom by watching others grow in their faith and ministries while telling myself things like, “God must favor her more,” or  “She’s a better Christian than me.”

God revealed the close companions at my core—negativity and pride. I had bouts of entertaining them by either brooding or making mental lists of how to be more righteous before God. Emotions lie, and we cannot sanctify ourselves. I decided to be a part of Jesus’ healing ministry by calling my friend and telling her I knew just what she had meant that day. Then, I shared what the Holy Spirit had revealed to me.

God doesn’t want any obstacles in our lives that create a barrier between Him and us. Ask yourself if there are any “friends” you entertain. 

Beginning in my early twenties, I started suffering from migraines. They caused piercing pain behind one or both eyes, nausea, dizziness, and sensitivity to light and sound. Not only did migraines force me to miss many days of work over the years, they also caused me to miss holidays, birthdays, graduations, and various other special gatherings and celebrations. As migraines became increasingly debilitating and frequent, discouragement plagued me.

For years, I prayed for God to deliver me from this chronic ailment. Although in the thick of a migraine, when all I could muster was a quiet whisper in between the throbbing pain, I cried out for God’s help. I prayed for healing. I prayed for permanent deliverance from this affliction that had plagued me for years. Each time the migraine passed, I was filled with gratitude. I continued to question why God allowed this malady to continue to smother me. I knew He had the power to heal me, and I had faith that He could, yet I continued to suffer.

I gleaned hope reading the apostle Paul’s reflections on his own “thorn in the flesh.” While the nature of Paul’s ailment is not specified, I could relate to his distress and longing for relief. He pleaded with the Lord three times for his thorn to depart. Although he didn’t receive miraculous deliverance, he recognized receipt of something else of immeasurable value: increased intimacy with Christ. Paul recognized that it was through his weakness that Christ’s power manifested itself most abundantly.

I sought to apply the same understanding to my situation, focusing not on my agony but on God’s goodness and faithfulness. While I continue to pray for permanent deliverance from migraines, I remind myself that God’s grace is enough, and He will continue to strengthen me to endure all things.

No matter how agonizing the thorn in the flesh you face, remain confident that through God, you can endure.

As a little girl, I felt fearful and insecure.

Having no answers at such a young age, I constantly put my mom and brother on a pedestal. I spent many days watching them and figuring out how to please them. They seemed to have it all—good looks, brains, athleticism, a good sense of humor. But most of all, they possessed great conviction in themselves. They seemed to know who they were and were confident in their identity.

As I grew, my profound uncertainty drove me to emulate others. I spent many days seeking to be someone I wasn’t. I wanted to be a popular, smart, award-winning athlete with all the attention like some kids at school.

Then, providentially, God moved and gave me what I thought I wanted. Although still not a believer, God allowed me to be part of the “in crowd” in college. I rushed a very popular sorority and was accepted. I thought I had it made. Although I became more confident, I soon learned an invaluable lesson.

The sorority I joined was all about partying, acting silly, and doing immoral things. Uncomfortable with this behavior, I soon realized this was not who I wanted to be. Consequently, after two years of membership, I quit the sorority. God was at work, showing me that all this worldliness was vanity of vanities—a chasing after the wind.

A year after graduating from college, while still seeking my identity, I heard the good news of Jesus Christ and became a believer. I now had a true and meaningful identity. God’s Word was full of accurate declarations of who I was as a child of God. This is just what I had been looking for. Now, it is Jesus Christ I seek to emulate as I live out whom God designed me to be.

Make sure your quest for identity involves who you are in Christ. 

My family received a phone call while my father was in recovery from open heart surgery. I woke up to my mother screaming. My nephew had been in a car accident and lost his life at eighteen.

My first reaction led me to question God. But while praying, a peace came over me, and I felt God's love wrapped around me. 

That night, I had to call my brother and tell him that his only son had died. The following morning, we had to tell my father that his first grandson had died. I can still hear their screams and cries. 

Through this tragedy, we discovered that my nephew had been saved. We miss him dearly, but we will see him again. 

Sometimes, in life, we face difficult situations. They can make us feel as if the whole world is crashing down upon us.  

Jesus said we will face difficult times. We will have struggles, and this life will not be easy. But one thing is sure: if we place our trust in Him, we can have peace. He said to be of good cheer—not to worry or fear—for He has overcome the world. 

No matter what life throws our way, we can know God is in control even when we are out of control. And if God's hands are as big and strong as they are, it does not matter what happens. When the situation is out of our hands, we can place it in His hands, and He will give us victory over our adversity. Even in our worst moments, God will never leave us. He is right there in our situation. 

Call upon God. Give Him your worries, fears, and situations. He will take you out of the valley and the pit. He will conquer your enemies. Be still and know that He is God.  

When my boys were little, I loved every single minute of being their mom. I celebrated each major milestone and the marvelous mundane beauty of daily life with them in our sunshine-sweet home.

But my boys grew up. Then I lost that memory-drenched home in a furious fire. In mourning, I was tempted to curl up in the ashes of all I had lost. But God whispered, “Consider Lot’s wife.”

When God determined to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah, He also saved Lot for the sake of his faithful uncle Abraham. God was merciful to Lot and his family. Lot’s wife, however, looked back as the embers flew while fleeing the doomed city.

At times I’ve had a righteous tendency to criticize her for that bit of disobedience. After all, God told them not to look back. But in context, that woman was suddenly pulled away from her home. Marching behind her husband with two daughters, she left behind married daughters and possibly grandchildren. Amid a corrupt and vile society, she had raised a family and lived a life she did not want to leave. It was all she had known. She did not understand there was something better ahead.

Lot’s wife was longing. She was worrying—preoccupied with what she was losing but not seeing what God was giving her: protection and a future. She focused on the wrong direction. God had a good plan for her, but she looked back.

In His great mercy, the Lord allowed me to see His beautiful provision even in the fire that destroyed my home. He has taught me to trust Him with everything, even when it looks as if I have nothing at all. He taught me where to look. We are not traveling toward the past. Standing in the ashes with my memories, He gave me a future.

Consider your focus. Don’t long for something that is gone. Lean toward what is to come. It is not over yet. God’s plans are good. Keep marching toward home.