His Spirit Guides Trust

I divorced over anger. All the daily exchanges of harsh words and actions built into an avalanche of suffocating rejection. Yet I had no idea I was the angry one.

I blamed my spouse as the one who meted out debilitatingly harsh words, physical tension, and silent disengagement toward me and our children over twenty-three years of marriage. My son was the most obvious casualty of divorce. We had no relationship for eleven years. For this, I was supremely bitter, angry, and ashamed. I had lost control of his heart and mind and didn’t like it one bit. Fear of losing my son forever took over my daily thoughts. My heart mourned the death of our relationship. As a result, I exchanged my identity as a mother for shameful inadequacies glaring for the world to see and judge.

The gut-wrenching pain of not sharing life with my son as he entered his college years threw me into a shameful pit of no escape. Every semblance of joy and love was painfully scraped from the nooks and crannies of my heart. My heart was torched and re-torched daily. The leftover ashes held no ability to spark. A cold stone lay in my chest.

I felt deeply shamed by my divorce. My anger flared with every tidbit of information I heard about my son’s life through his siblings’ conversations. This would send me right back to square one. My impatience created anger. I wanted the relationship with my son fixed.

Waiting is being patient, and that’s not easy. Waiting is also critical to controlling anger so we don’t suffer the shame of foolish choices.

Impulsivity is the opposite of waiting. God tells us that the power of patience brings wisdom. With wisdom comes self-control, and with self-control, anger does not prevail. Waiting through prayer is an exercise in healing an impatient, angry, shamed spirit. God answers prayers.

Think of the times you have reacted in anger instead of waiting to think it through and praying for self-control. Seek God’s will in the outcome of what your heart desires.  

Total darkness frightens me.

My wife and I drive away total darkness in our home by placing night lights at selective places. One in the bathroom makes it possible for us to see how to use the facilities at night without having to turn on a lamp or overhead light. Night lights in the den keep our animals satisfied.

But total darkness didn’t seem to bother Daniel. Jealousy drove his enemies to arrange a deal with the king, which resulted in Daniel being thrown to the lions. Reading his story in the Bible can mask how dark this experience truly was. No overhead lights or oil lamps decorated the den. Daniel sat, stood, or lay in total darkness. He heard the lions pacing and roaring. He probably smelled their wild scent but never saw how closely they approached him.

The trials and tribulations of life can bring what appears to be total darkness. I’ve experienced quite a few such periods. This much I know: total darkness never indicates God’s absence. Our sin or God’s testing may have ushered in the darkness, but God never leaves our side regardless of the cause of the darkness. He is still working. If we’ve sinned, we need to confess and repent. If He is testing us, we need to develop our trust in Him to do the right thing.

In periods of total darkness, God can and often does feel nearer. Darkness reminds us that we control nothing. God does. His ways are higher, and His thoughts are beyond our understanding. He is the creator and controller. Our duty is to walk by faith.

Daniel was in darkness because of the work of his enemies. Satan can bring periods of darkness. The Bible compares him to a prowling lion. Daniel’s episode reminds us God has the power to close his mouth. Satan is on God’s leash and can only do what he is allowed to do. God commands the darkness.

When our periods of darkness are over, we need to help someone else understand God’s power and compassion. Daniel witnessed to the king about his God. God doesn’t want us to waste our experiences but rather to use them to help someone else.

When your periods of darkness creep in, remember who controls them. 

While working as a missionary with Youth with a Mission, a leader used to say, "Living by faith is being in the center of a miracle but always on the edge of disaster."

Moses found himself in such a circumstance by the Red Sea. If we follow in Moses's footsteps, we will find ourselves in the same situation.

In a life of living by faith, when pressure comes, and it constantly does, we must remain calm. Fear rises when we find ourselves between the rock and the hard place. Some say fear is the opposite of faith, but unbelief is. And it is unbelief that leads to fear. Fear grips our lives when we doubt God's faithfulness.

When we experience fear about something God has told us to do, we must return to the source: God. We ask the Lord when and how He told us to do what we are trying. If we have not documented the word from God, the thing may not be significant enough to do. But if we know God has spoken, then we stand on God's faithfulness and character. Hearing from God is essential in times of doubt.

Moses was on a first-name basis with God, but this is not just for the high and mighty. Jesus Christ died on the cross to give us a pathway to heaven and reestablish a relationship with Him. It makes perfect sense that God would provide us with a way of communicating with Him and He with us. Prayer is a two-way street.

If you are between a rock and a hard place with God, stay calm and listen to what the Lord says. 

Sometimes we get caught not listening because our minds are stuck on mounting tasks and worries. Or we let anxiety build to the point that it cripples us. I’ve been there and done that. But there is a better way to approach each day.

I have come to understand that one of life’s guarantees is that we will experience difficulty. Life is tough, but we choose how to respond to life’s problems. Scripture tells us the right path forward will require effort and hard work. But it also says we will need great faith—faith that our Father will guide us through.

God doesn’t equip us to do this all on our own. He wants us to move forward while depending on and trusting Him with tomorrow. We work so hard to manipulate those details that we forget He is at work behind the scenes. We forget that the mounting stress will only multiply unless we turn to Him. It’s hard to feel joy when we let stress lead. We find true freedom only through Christ.

God instructs us to cast our worries and anxieties on Him. Don’t be fooled by the Devil. It’s not a game of boomerang. Scripture says to cast—to throw with force out of our hands and into His. God can handle the weight and volume of whatever we throw at Him. We trust Him with it by refusing to give it a second thought. All we can do is the best we can and then let God fill in all our gaps by covering the rest.

The only way to better enjoy the journey is to return the plan to God. He is the CEO of our lives. We must stay at work and trust Him with the outcome. Life is hard, but it sure feels lighter once we give the heavy lifting to Him.

Cast your worries and those overrated anxieties on Christ. They aren’t your burden to carry. Keep your focus on Scripture and God’s abilities instead of obsessing over the details. Your Father will work them out in the end. 

A popular local restaurant has a cute little red door at the front entrance. A standard-size door is available to all, but the small red one is for children. They delight in entering through a special passage.

But some adults want to enter there too. It is interesting to watch them bend over and try to pass through this door to prove they can. However, this door is not intended for adults.

Many doors are available to us. Doors represent choices for jobs, colleges, spouses, friends, investments, places, hobbies, ministries, and salvation. Many, however, are not meant for us to enter just because we can. God does not intend for us to enter them all.

God opens some doors. We step through them with Him in faith. As we put one foot in front of the other, God makes a way, makes opportunities available, and clears a path for us. We pray for confirmation along the way so that we keep moving in the right direction. The impossible becomes possible because God’s way is best. He makes mountains move and parts the sea.

Yet God closes other doors. I’m glad He does. They are just not meant for me. I don’t want to force my way through a door when something might backfire, create problems, add burdens, and cause me to miss His favor and blessings. I pray for wisdom, guidance, understanding, and decisions that align with His plan. I pray that He will close the doors tightly to anything that might lead me down the wrong path.

Choose to go with God through life. Doing so is the best door to enter. Ask God to help you be alert and sensitive to His Spirit’s leading so you can experience all He has intended for you.