My profound need for a human relationship that is deep and completely fulfilling haunts me.
I am beginning to see that God alone can be in a deep and satisfying relationship with me. To achieve this, I have to let Him into that aching place I keep locked up so no one knows about it. The older I get, the more closed off I am to emotional vulnerability. I’ve been burned by people too many times to freely bare my soul.
Baring my soul to God is different from opening up to people. With God, I’m telling Him something He already knows. Though God knows everything about me, He waits patiently for me to tell Him. Then He waits for me to ask for guidance. He will give wisdom when I ask, but I have to do what He says: trust, be at peace, and not worry.
And I worry too much. I don’t always believe God is in control, but I try to rest on His promises and let Him into the deepest, most private part of my heart as the psalmist instructs me to do. I ache to let God in so He can work in my life. I attempt to discipline my mind to fully trust that He will continue ruling from His throne.
God fills the aching places in our hearts. We may not sense His repairing the aching spots all at once, but they may heal slowly like an empty well whose water slowly inches upward. One day we realize the hurt is gone and the One who will never leave, forsake, or betray, has filled it to overflowing.
Let God into every area of your life.
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Christy Lindsay’s writings have appeared in Blissfully Blended: 365 Devotional Readings for Stepmoms, christianitytoday.com, and Penned from the Heart, volumes 17-19. She writes a column for her hometown weekly newspaper, Community News. You can read her work at www.communitynewslinesville.com.