A bird’s nest gob smacked me today.
Who knew such a frail creation could pack such a punch? After two bluebird couples occupied our bluebird house over the summer, I emptied the nest trash and readied the lodging for next spring. As I pulled out a large, cubed chunk of carefully intertwined grass, I noticed there were no eggshells on top.
But when I lifted the upper layer, I found them. Four perfectly formed bluebird eggs. Never hatched. Buried. Dead before arrival.
I had photographed the first bluebird couple as they busily and merrily built this nest. They must have waited…and waited…never to see their young. Was the bluebird house too hot? Was there something wrong with the eggs genetically? Why would God deprive these beautiful creatures of children?
Similar questions plagued me when I struggled through a season of infertility nearly thirty years ago. I thought I was past the pain. But this day brought it all back. The hurt.
In the meantime, though, God has taught me that He is sovereign. His ways and thoughts are far beyond ours. He is a loving God who only has good plans for our future. He allows sorrow and tragedy for reasons only He knows. He is good all the time, even when we can’t see it…even when life doesn’t give us what we want. He’s given us permission to be angry at death. To grieve a vanished dream. To speak honestly with Him and ask, “Why this? Why me?”
If everything on earth were perfectly happy and satisfying, we would have no need for a Savior…no need for the comfort of His Holy Spirit…no need to seek Him. C. S. Lewis said pain is “God’s megaphone” to get our attention.
So today, I run to Jesus again for His blessing. He is my strong tower in time of sorrow—the One who receives me into the shelter of His peace so I can bury my face and tears in His embrace.
In our seasons of despair, infertility, hopelessness, and loss, we can run to Jesus. He knows all our pain because He was a Man of sorrows and well-acquainted with grief.
Let Christ be your source of blessing and wellspring of praise. Trust Him to turn your mourning into joy.
(Photo courtesy of Nancy Williams, Lighbourne Creative.)
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Nancy Canestrari Williams is a Christian wife, mom, and author as well as a communications professional, now representing Lightbourne Creative. She loves writing and photography and is the author of A Crocus in the Desert: Devotions, Prayers, and Stories for Women Experiencing Infertility. Williams has also served as an instructor at a Christian college, teaching PR strategies and practices to the next generation of professionals. She and her husband, Mark, have been happily married more than thirty years and have two grown children, Elizabeth and Alex. You can follow her weekly blog at https://lightbournecreative.com.