I was on a twenty-four-hour fast while visiting my hometown.
I ventured to the bridge where my mom committed suicide and prayed. The horrific site was now a park reserve.
Years earlier, on the Saturday of Labor Day weekend, my mom left home and never returned. The next day, I saw her suicide note on the kitchen table. My mom had said she was mad. I was fourteen and did not realize that was a warning sign.
I rode my bike to the bridge and found her car. Then I went back home and told my dad. We called the police as we raced back to the site. While waiting, I remember my dad yelling, “Liz, I loved you.” A week later they found her body in the river.
Having a mom—a recovering alcoholic—commit suicide was one of the worst times of my life. On the surface, her suicide was awful. A lot of people would have gotten mad at God and rejected Him, but this never shook my faith. Because of my mom's suicide, I can relate more to others who have experienced a loved one’s suicide.
We live in a sinful world. My mom chose to end her life. But it wasn’t God’s fault. She made the wrong choice. The good that came out of my horrible situation is that Jesus loves me. He can make good out of a suicide that doesn’t make any sense.
Hope in Jesus always exists, no matter what you’re going through. Trust Him.
(Photo courtesy of pixabay.)
(For more devotions, visit Christian Devotions.)
Ken Ebright is a former Minnesotan who lives in Belleville, Illinois. He plays a keyboard, sings in a men’s choir, and does street witnessing.