Have you ever thrown a fit when talking to the Lord? I mean, mine was more like a tantrum, but who’s comparing, right?
Anyway, the few brief months (and moments) leading up to my toddler outburst had been hard—and often hurtful. My emotions were driven by my feelings and my feelings by my focus (which was on myself.) As I sat in my car, I listed the ways I had been slighted, the lack of understanding shown, the injustice done to my heart, and the exhaustion of having to take the narrow path on the high road. I was the prophet Elijah in the cave, except I was in a car. Still yet, the Lord allowed me to cry, complain, question, and be angry and self-centered—yet He didn’t let me stay there.
I remember my words as if I had spoken them yesterday: “I just want to know I am loved and that You hear me, Lord.”
Although I was still resisting what my spirit directed me to do—the kind and godly thing which goes beyond one’s self—God’s Words of life and truth began to fill my heart, one at a time. As I cried out to my Father, He patiently listened.
Soon, I felt Him lean in and love on me with His heart. I heard Him whisper, “You are mine, and I am yours. I am your rewarder when you diligently seek Me. I love you with an everlasting love. And the same love which covers a multitude of your sins is the same love which calls you to love others.”
The love of Jesus compels us to see others and to view our circumstances through Holy-Spirit-colored glasses. His tender correction tenderly toppled my tantrum, and His faithful hand of love sweetly subdued my fit.
Our Father’s love is bigger than our hurt. Bigger than our selfishness. Bigger than our complaints. Bigger than our fear. And bigger than our brokenness. So big it blows my mind.
Aren’t you thankful God doesn’t only whisper into caves to prophets—and that His fullness covers all our tantrums with grace upon grace? I know I sure am.
(Photo courtesy of pixabay.)
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Tonya L. Brown is a teacher, writer, and blogger. She graduated from Kentucky’s Campellsville University in 2018 with a Bachelor of Science Degree in Pastoral Ministries and Counseling. She is a wife, daughter, sister, step-mother, aunt, and friend. She loves Jesus and strives each moment to be a kingdom-building woman, seeking after His heart. By day, she is blessed to be a kindergarten teacher to her amazing kids at Twin Valley Bible Academy. As she journeys through this life, encouraging other women in Christ, she finds a depth of unexplainable treasure. She shares her flaws and faith, all to edify others and glorify Jesus.