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Feeling like Job

Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him.  Job 13:15 NIV

feeling like JobI was feeling like Job.

My husband, Tom, lost a thirteen-year battle with cancer. He was the light of my life. Suddenly, darkness and emptiness enveloped me. I struggled just to function. Two months later, my mother died suddenly at the age of eighty-nine. Two months after that, my income was slashed in half. And just a short time later, my health began deteriorating. My life was a shell of what it had been.

I felt God had stripped my whole life away, leaving me with nothing to hold on to. I wasn’t mad at God, but I sure didn’t trust Him.

But God wasn’t finished with me.

My daughter and family moved in with me. I now had voices and laughter where silence had been. This blessing softened my heart toward God, and I began searching for answers.

Suffering is not a popular subject for most Christians. We either feel entitled to a life of sunshine and roses, or we believe God is punishing us by allowing bad things to happen in our lives.

God may have several reasons why He allows suffering. We don’t always see the plans He has for us behind our hurt. Our suffering may benefit those around us. Only when we’ve been through a trial ourselves can we understand the troubles of others. Our suffering may also prove that God’s grace is all we need, as in Job’s case.

I had looked to people and circumstances to be my rock and refuge. Instead, God wanted me to look to Him for my security, identity, and strength. He took everything away from me so I could see His grace was sufficient.

My life isn’t perfect now, but I have a sweetness and closeness in my relationship with my heavenly Father that I didn’t before. And He’s taken the pieces of my broken heart and put them back together.

What steps can you take when you’re feeling like Job?

(Photo courtesy of pixabay.)

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Sandi Roper

Sandi Roper is a retired journalist and freelance writer living in Festus, MO. During her career, she was a reporter, feature writer, and columnist for newspapers in Kansas and Illinois. She has written four stage plays, three of which have been produced. She has also published in American Motorcyclist magazine. She is currently working on a book entitled No More Empty Houses. She lives with her daughter and her family (plus four cats).