I knelt in the kitchen of our tiny rental house.
Weeping, I leaned on a red ice chest where I kept milk for my children. We needed a refrigerator, but I had no hope one would come. Through poor choices, I had lost everything and alienated my family. Covered in shame and regret, I felt worthless and unlovable—and now I needed a refrigerator. I had nowhere to turn, so I prayed and cried, “Look at me, God! Help me.”
Something happened. Instead of asking for relief from my appliance problems, I begged God to help me or take me. At that moment, “He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock” (Psalm 40:2). Days later, a neighbor gave us a refrigerator.
With my feet on a path of restoration, I wanted to prove to God His restoration was not a mistake. I said “Yes” to every spiritual request from Bible study to children’s ministry. Busyness entered my life. I worked to keep God’s love.
The harder I tried to earn and keep what was given as a gift, the more elusive it became. My head told me that to keep God’s love I had to do good works. I was saying, “Look at me, God. Look what I’m doing.” But quickly, I became exhausted. My strength wilted and withered. The joy of redemption became the bitterness of busyness.
Salvation is a gift from God through faith in Jesus. Nothing we do can pay the price of our sin. The price was paid through the sacrifice of God’s only Son, Jesus, who lived a perfect life and then paid the penalty for our sins.
I prayed for deliverance. This time I heard God’s voice answer, “Stop striving. Look at me, your God.” He was telling me to end my doing and to focus on Him. God doesn’t ask for hard work and busyness. He says, “Look to me.”
As God’s child, rest in the assurance that nothing will separate you from God’s everlasting love.
(Photo courtesy of pixabay.)
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