What am I going to do without my mom? What am I going to do?
These thoughts swirled around in my mind as I guided my car along a blackened 405 freeway. I was on my way to Lancaster, California—driving, asking, and praying. I needed a present help.
Earlier that evening, after coming home from work, I had received a call from my younger sister that emergency personnel were rendering aid to my mother. Her trembling voice unveiled her growing fear as she kept me abreast of the situation. As her words darted back and forth, my heart rose and sank like a tide. The Lord can bring her through this. He has done it before. In the end, I was grateful for all the effort put into saving her. However, my bobbing hopes finally sank. My mother died.
Everything changed that night, but Jesus was always with me. While my hands desperately clenched the steering wheel on that uphill drive, I felt an overwhelming presence of warmth. Immediately, I sensed that Jesus covered me with a blanket of love and compassion. His comfort lessened the pain of grief and shock. It was as if He said, “I know, and I am here.” In hindsight, only my all-knowing Savior could understand such a significant loss.
In the following days, weeks, and months, the Lord continued to comfort me directly and through others. Jesus soothed me with a peace that lulled me to sleep and then carried me through my days. He led me to Scriptures that reminded me of His faithfulness and love. The care and concern from church members and family friends touched me. The cards, messages, and phone calls lifted me.
In our times of questioning, we don’t have the answers that our hearts long for (Ephesians 3:20). We want to make sense of things. The truth is that we don’t have the capacity to figure it all out. We fail when relying on our own reasoning. Jesus provides strength “exceedingly abundantly above” and holds us up in ways we can’t even begin to think of or imagine. He does this with His power and Spirit. He knows all things and prescribes care specifically for each of us.
Whatever you may be facing, take comfort in knowing that the ultimate Comforter can strengthen you. He can do the impossible.
Kristen is a writer.