People pleasing is a dangerous snare. Living for approval may start with a social media post or a compliment with ulterior motives, but the habit can fester until we’re anxiously performing for a largely nonexistent audience. We must move from pleasing people to serving.
As Christians, our desire should be to please God alone. We must fix our thoughts on Him, asking ourselves if our lives reflect the way He wants us to live. However, it’s one thing to say this truth but another to live it out.
God didn’t create us for isolation. He created us for people, not just in community but also in service. Yes, our lives are meant to be lived for God, but He calls us to live for others, just not in the way we often do (Galatians 1:10).
In another place, Paul tells us to value others more than ourselves and to look out for their interests. People pleasing is rooted in pride. Even though we’re focusing on others, we’re thinking solely of ourselves, caring more about people’s perception of us than the people themselves. This pride breeds self-consciousness, leading to a nervous cycle of shallow performance and then dwelling on that performance.
But what would life look like if we stopped living for their approval and just lived for them? The focus would finally be off us, which brings anxiety anyway. With the removal of pride, what remains is humility rooted in a genuine love for people. This love isn’t selfish and doesn’t have ulterior motives. It isn’t concerned with perceptions or opinions.
Being a servant of Christ means pleasing Him by serving those around you. Still keep them in your thoughts, but do so with a heart of humble generosity. Care about people without worrying if they care about you.
Sydney Alena is a college student pursuing an education in English. As a young woman, she feels called to write on issues pertaining to her generation. Additionally, she’s heavily involved with her church and college ministry.