As far back as I can remember I've always been a procrastinator. No matter the task or obligation, I always seemed to put it off until the last minute. It didn't matter if I was studying for an exam while working on my Master's Degree, preparing for a project at work, or promising to write at least thirty minutes a day, I'd always wait until the last minute to tackle it or not do it at all. This is what I call "Slacker's Remorse."
For years, I thought my ability to focus all of my energy at one time to accomplish a goal within mere hours was a special power of mine. I thought I was a superhero with the ability to shut out everything else to write a 10-page paper in a day without batting an eye. So why couldn't I focus or organize my day in such a way that I was able to accomplish anything my little heart desired?
Nothing seemed to work. The more lists I made, the more things remained undone. My feelings of inadequacy increased. Slacker’s remorse hit. So how do all of us that want to accomplish our goals, do it?
I'm not ashamed to admit I sometimes need help in trying to navigate life. But not just in the way of organizing myself or saying some mantra every morning. I need something that evokes real change in my life. And then it hit me. Maybe I'll always be this way. Maybe all I can do is show up each day and do my best.
With everything and everyone moving at the speed of light, I need to remember my best is going to vary from minute to minute and day by day. What I aspire to and accomplish is going to change even when I'm at my peak. Just knowing that is enough to quiet the sometimes restless soul when it's screaming to do more. I'm learning to simply relax and let it come to me. As soon as I settle my heart and allow it to be open, the words flow like the Nile.
I didn't worry about perfecting anything or meeting a specific deadline. I just listened to my body, and when the words came, I was ready. So today you may feel a bit of "Slackers Remorse," but remember tomorrow is another day.
(Photo courtesy of morguefile and grietgriet.)
(For more devotions, visit us at www.christiandevotions.us.)