It was early Christmas morning 1997. Wrapped in my light blue robe dotted with teddy bears, I sat curled up in the corner of the couch. Darkness filled the room except for the lights on the tree. I sat staring at them. The soft glow of colored lights glistened through the tears trickling down my cheeks. Sadness engulfed me as I remembered past Christmases. I wondered what new ones would bring. I didn’t know what the future held, but I was sure of one thing. This would be our last Christmas spent together as a family. Within a couple of months, the divorce would be final.
That morning is still a blur. I don’t remember much except the awkwardness of exchanging gifts for the last time with my husband of almost twenty years. Despite the joy we tried to share, it was a hard morning for both of us and our children.
Over time and through God’s grace, I learned to forgive. I knew I did not want to live harboring hatred in my heart. In order to move past the darkness that resided in my soul, I had to face many things about myself, my relationships, and my attitudes.
One night, desperately wanting freedom from the bondage of unforgiveness, I fell to my knees. With a heart-wrenching cry, I begged God to take it from me. Immediately, I was filled with peace.
From that point on, I made an effort to love my ex-husband despite what we had been through. I decided for the sake of our children, my extended family, and myself that reconciliation was what God was asking of me. When I made an effort to put the past behind me, I was able to move forward with love and forgiveness. Seeping wounds began to heal.
Although the scars are still there as a reminder of the past, they are also a reminder for the future. They remind me God reigns sovereign over my life. If I look to Him for direction, He will guide me. If I look to Him for comfort, He will comfort me. If I trust Him, He will not let me down. In His time, He will make all things new.
Forgive your past. Move forward in love. When you do, God’s love will bring healing, contentment, and peace.
(Photo courtesy of morguefile and Earl53..)
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Sheryl M. Baker enjoys bringing hope and encouragement through God's Word. Her devotions have appeared in Light from the Word, The Secret Place, Power for Today, and christiandevotions.us. She is a contributing author to Yvonne Lehman’s books, Spoken Moments, More Christmas Moments, and Loving Moments. Sheryl lives in northwest Indiana with her husband Ben and spoiled cat Rex. Connect with Sheryl at sherylmbaker.wordpress.com or spunbythepotter.com.