It was two days before his fifth birthday when we got him—our first foster child. We were as nervous as the first-time parents of a newborn. That first night at our house we were afraid to go to sleep. What if he got up in the middle of the night? What would he do or where would he go? And on top of that, I had to throw a birthday party for a five-year-old in two days.
We handled him with kid gloves—afraid of adding to his trauma … fearing we’d say something and set him into a rage. The words of the previous foster mom echoed in my head: "Don't be afraid of him." But I was.
Foster parent training classes had warned us that some foster kids eat like horses or hoard food for fear of not getting enough. It seemed like all I did those first few weeks was feed him and clean up. I was afraid to say "No" to his frequent requests to eat.
Our days started at 4 or 5 a.m. when he would quietly pitter-patter to our room and ask, "Can I get up now?" Since we were in our 60s, my husband and I soon realized we had gotten more than we bargained for. At night, we dropped into bed exhausted, wondering what we’d gotten ourselves into.
Three months later, things are now going smoother. Meals are routine with a snack in between. On most nights, he sleeps a normal schedule. An occasional time-out takes care of the typical childhood misbehaviors. Tension is replaced with laughter.
Why was I so afraid of a five-year-old? I relyed on my own understanding instead of leaning on God. I see how God provided the strength, the energy, and the wisdom to be a foster parent to this child. All I had to do was trust Him and provide the love.
It’s easy to take things into our own hands rather than offer them to God. When you’re tempted to handle things alone, stop and trust in the one who understands all things.
(Photo courtesy of morguefile and drrj.)
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Vicki Killion is a retired nurse. She and her husband have become foster parents within the past year and are experiencing both the joy and the challenge that brings. She has a desire to write and share the things she has learned through her years of living.